At every point in my health journey, every way I mistreated my body and mind was in the name of "health."
Under-eating: To be thin because that's healthy right? (I was so wrong)
Running for hours every day: Exercise is healthy right? So more is always better right? (Wrong again)
Socially isolating myself to hit my bedtime every single night: Because sleep is key to health right?
And while the general principles I was following are mostly true: sleep is key for health, movement is medicine, and under-eating, well that's just downright unhealthy. I was missing a very key mindset: nothing is healthier than a loving community, reducing stress, and enjoying your life. My so-called "health" practices at that time completely blocked me from real health because they were based in fears, self-hate, and sacrificing joy.
I didn't understand this until I took a job that pulled me out of my past routine and rooted me in a community. My life became joyful, and I was too distracted to keep up with my health routine. I was eating foods I had once restricted and feared, regularly. I was letting myself out of my health prison.
And something magical happened. I began to feel (and look) stronger than I ever had. I started to lose my intense cravings, and lose my need to neurotically control my body at all times. By my old standards of health (solely evaluating diet, working out, and 'discipline') I should have been less healthy, but I felt the healthiest I had felt since I was a child.
This continued, and I began to remember how easy eating what Is perfect for my body at the moment is, the way it felt before I learned how to be so harsh on my body. It allowed me to reclaim ease and peace with my body.
Healthy is no longer one body type, one standard, a number, or anything outside of my own sense of self.
Now, health to me is measured by my passion for life and the way I feel in my body. All of us deserve to feel vibrant in our bodies and lives.
When was the last time you felt vibrant and at ease with your body? What did it look and feel like?
XOXO
Nell
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